Where Have I Been, Part 2

As fate would have it, our vacation was smack dab in the middle of the peak mileage week of my marathon training. Yoda have mercy!

In the blazing hot Florida sun, I ran five, ten, and five mile runs. I swear, I thought I was going to melt. After the ten miler, I bought a bottle of gatorade that was pretty much the best thing I have ever tasted. It two about two seconds for me to guzzle it, like something out of a commercial.

All of this was on top of getting less sleep than usual, plus walking around the parks all day every day. And often carrying Jack around when the stroller was just not going to cut it.

We got home on a Saturday, and the very next morning, I had to wake up and do my 20 mile run. Conditions for this run were far from ideal. I wasn't rested at all from the week prior, not just because of the running, but because of the travel. And, right before the run, I had a brief scare in which I thought I wasn't going to be able to run the marathon at all. (Long story short, I'm still on track, but I didn't know that when I set off.) Both mentally and physically, I was not in the best place.

So, remember not so long ago when I completely rocked out that 18 mile run? Well this was a hell of a lot more than two miles harder. I really had to kick my ass through out the run. I actually envisioned picking myself up by the scruff of my own neck and hurling myself a few feet ahead at a time. Kind of like the fight Edward Norton has with himself in Fight Club.

It wasn't pretty, but I got through it. And now I'm tapering. It is so weird that the 8 mile run I'm doing on Sunday seems so short. And it blows my mind that my race is a week from Sunday. So soon! I will just have to trust that I trained right and that I am well and truly ready. I am looking forward to seeing what I'm made of - both actually getting my legs to go that far and making sure my head's in the right place.

Where Have I Been, Part 1

Okay, yeah... it's been a long time since I've posted. Things have been absolutely crazy at Stately Wasser Manor. The boys and I went to Disney World for a week. Then, there was a rushed week at home, then Steve and I left for a long weekend for a wedding - at which I was the minister. And in between was my peak mileage week for the marathon. It got to the point where I couldn't sleep because I was so stressed about things like when I was going to get a pedicure, because I really needed one, because the shoes for the wedding had peep toes, but what if they messed with my calluses and I got blisters - and holy Yoda, am I really stressing out about a spa treatment?

So, now it's time to catch up.

First, I colored my hair before our vacation.

Believe it or not, I think it has a passing resemblance to my natural hair color, whatever that is.

Then, the boys and I had an amazing, amazing trip. I wondered if going to Disney World with a two and a half year old kid, especially one who is potty training, was going to be just exhausting. But it truly wasn't. Jack was so delighted by everything that he spent most of the vacation in a state of delight, saying, "Lookit!" about every two seconds.


We saw Cinderella's castle...

and met a bunch of characters. Roary was especially excited to meet Tigger, a famous tiger.

We went on rides. Jack especially loved the Buzz Lightyear ride, Peter Pan, and Pirates of the Caribbean (which now features Captain Jack Sparrow). We also had a great time on the teacups.


On our last night, we went to Mickey's Not-So-Scary Halloween Party, an after-hours event with trick or treating, special parades, different fireworks, and all kinds of other fun. The boys and I went as The Incredibles. Steve kept forgetting we were in costume and wondered why people were looking at us and smiling.


There were all kinds of just amazing Disney moments. Jack "scared" Captain Hook by saying "tick tock" to him, which amused him for days. We'd luck into great spots to watch the parades, and we found almost all of his favorite characters at one point or another. A sudden downpour of rain coincided with the chance to watch the Bug's Life movie with no wait in line. A really nice Disney cast member gave Jack a Chip pin, which he wore the next day for a character breakfast where Chip and Dale would be visiting. A woman in the gift shop saw Jack's pin and was so charmed by him that she gave him her Dale pin.

One of the best moments of the trip really summarized the experience. We were watching the fireworks, which were amazing and featured a real live Tinkerbell zipping from the top of the castle right over our heads. Jack was distracted by the voice of Jiminy Cricket, who was narrating the fireworks. Where was Jiminy, he wondered? Steve finally told him that Jiminy's voice was all around us, and that's why we could hear him. Jack took a moment to let that sink in, then said this:

Look, Roary! Magic!

A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes

Last night, Jack took a kitchen towel, tied it around his waist, and proceeded to skip and twirl around the living room, happily declaring, "I'm Cinderella!"

It was one of the gayest things I've seen outside of the crowd at the Madonna concert I went to a few years ago. Or, as Steve put it,

During his dress up routine, he flitted across the floor on his tippy toes in a faerie-of-the-glen way that I'd never seen him do before. I immediately envisioned hauling my elderly ass to Fire Island to visit him and his "roommate" Todd.

It was also hilarious.

Jack is Awesome

This morning, Jack threw a gigantic, crying tantrum because he could not wear his sunglasses. So, what better time than now for me to remind myself of why Jack is awesome.

• Jack continues to prove that he is Steve's and my son with his Star Wars obsession. Yesterday, he looked in a stack of DVDs and handed me Return of the Jedi, saying, "Want watch this one, Mommy. Has Rancor in it." I absolutely love that he knows that, even though the Rancor isn't even on the box. I just got him some new Star Wars action figures, and it is a stitch to hear him playing with them. Vader will tell Luke, "Yuke, my your father," and Luke will yell "Nooo!" and jump off the coffee table. I also get a real kick out of hearing Jack say "bounty hunter."



• He is doing a really amazing job with the potty training. Last week was 98% accident free, which is pretty darned good for his first week of underwear. He no longer argues about whether or not he should try. He even once suggested it himself, without prompting. Last night, he came over and told me he'd had an accident. You might not think this is something to cheer about, but the silver lining is that he at least understood what happened, instead of complaining that his chair was wet. Yeah, your chair is wet; you peed on it. Duh.



• Steve and I used to say when Jack was a baby that his job was to spread joy everywhere he went. He was, after all, the smiliest baby you ever saw. Well, he continues to spread joy. You would not believe how he charmed every single person in the doughnut shop we went in on Saturday. He was all smiles, in a face completely covered in chocolate and sprinkles, happily chatting away about how we were going to swimming class and how he was going to throw his duck in the water.

I love the way he distinguishes Hank McCoy Beast from Beauty and the Beast Beast as "Blue Beast" and "Brown Beast."

The way he asks me, "Mommy, you going to runinng?" when he sees me in my running clothes. And that I can count on him for a high five and a kiss on the cheek when I get back.

The way he rubs Roary's tail when he's tired.

The fact that, thank Yoda, he seems to be over the seperation anxiety, at least for now. It's almost like a switch flipped and he realized, "Wait a minute! I have fun at GrandmaGrandpa house. Why would I cry?" and "School is great! My friends are here!"

What I Learned From Running 18 Miles

That's right, Internet! I rocked out 18 miles yesterday. Woo hoo!

I am looking to these long runs to not only prepare me physically, but also mentally for the big 26.2 coming up in just 4 weeks. (Holy Yoda, only 4 weeks?!?) Here's what I'm learning:

1. The iPod doesn't have to be playing music for me to run well. For this run, instead of listening to music, I listened to a couple episodes of This American Life. Not having the beats of the music did not affect my pace at all. The iPod serves mainly as a distraction, a way for me to not get bored during those hours of running.

2. 10 miles is too long to go without Gu. At mile 8, I was starting to drag a bit. I had the Gu in my pocket, but I wanted to wait until my water break at mile 10, since it's better to have them with water. Those two miles were rough. I will plan better next time.

3. During these long runs, I somehow manage to get a blister on toe #3 of my right foot. I'll have to figure out a new way to prevent this.

4. A short break can really energize me. I walked up the hill at about 8-1/2 miles, then stopped for water and Gu at mile 10, then a Gu/pee/water break at mile 14. Every time I did, I felt totally refreshed. And it really didn't hurt my time at all. I finished at a totally respectable pace that I was proud of. If I need to take a little rest, I should do it.

5. I need to figure out a way to actually EAT towards the end of these runs. On my two longest runs to date - 16 and 18 miles, I found myself feeling really, really hungry in the last couple of miles. I might have to experiment with carrying some kind of Power Bar with me.

6. Long runs make me HUNGRY. I devoured everything in sight yesterday, and may do the same today.

7. Ice baths? Crazy, but they work. I don't feel sore at all.

8. I am in really good shape and truly seem to have trained myself to be able to tackle these long distances. That added confidence is definitely the most important thing. I truly believe I can do this.

Dressing The Part

Amy over at Runners Lounge has a post about fashion rules for running. Her first rule is "If you can cross the line, anything is fine." This is, of course, 100% true. One of the coolest things about running is that you really just need a decent pair of shoes (and a sports bra, if you're a woman), and you are good to go. No need for a whole lot of gear or flim-flam.

The last time in my life I was really serious about running was when I was a cross country runner in high school. We trained a lot, two workouts a day for a total of at least 10 miles a day. We combined road runs, weight training, form drills, hill work, and some truly brutal track workouts (the 16 quarters we did my junior year is the second hardest thing I have ever done physically, surpassed only by 3 days worth of labor pains). And at the time, my teammates and I rather pointedly didn't care what we wore.

We definitely weren't buying special running shorts or clothing made of tech fabrics. We wore old t-shirts and whatever shorts we had handy - often just cut-off sweats. The closest thing to real running gear any of us wore were tights, and that's only because in November when you're training for State, it's really freaking cold outside. We scoffed at the idea of matchy-matchy gear.

But now? Well, my thinking has changed. I greatly prefer tech fabrics, because the moisture wicking really makes a difference to me. I have special socks that I wear just for running, otherwise I will get blisters. My running skirts are some of my favorite garments.

I also do something that my teenaged self would have considered unthinkable: I wear outfits that are not only matching, but also... cute. I'll go out in a white running skirt with pink trim and a matching pink singlet. This morning, I wore my black running skirt, a grey t-shirt that proclaims me to be "ATHLETIC," a red zip-front jacket (I love you, fall weather), and a white running hat from One More Mile that tells anyone who can read it that Running Is My Happy Hour. I'll admit it: I looked adorable.

I have come to terms with my new desire for running fashion. Amy is right that if it gets you across the line, it's fine. But I swear, knowing that I'm out there looking like a serious runner makes me feel even more like I really am one.

High Five!

Monday: Jack wore underwear and kept it clean and dry all day.

Tuesday: Jack had two accidents. My mom, who was taking care of him, says it's her fault because she wasn't good about making him go. Jack will use the potty if you ask him (and if he is reasonably assured of some M&Ms or similar afterwards), but he's not going to come up with the idea on his own.

Wednesday: Jack wore underewear to school for the first time. He stayed clean and dry all day.

Way to go, Cub!

Potpourri

- Jack has decided that he wants to wear underwear. We'll see how this plays out.

- I got my Illinois driver's license finally, so I guess this is all official (as if getting a job and buying a house didn't make it so). The picture is surprisingly good. And going to the DMV was not a ridiculous pain in the ass... not much, anyway.

- I could not be happier about the fall weather we're having. When I went out for my run last night, it was actually a bit cool outside. Delightful!

- Plus, bonus, Pumpkin Spice Latte at Starbucks. How I love the PSL!

- The boys and I are leaving in a little over a week for Disney World. I am really excited.

- All this talk of Pumpkin Spice Lattes means it might be time for a trip to 'Bucks.

Bravery

So, it turns out that in addition to a general iron deficiency, my B12 levels are also pretty low. I swear to Yoda, once all of this is worked out, I am going to be such a superhero.

In the meantime, I am taking iron supplements, but for the B12, I have to get shots! It's once a week for a month, then once a month, probably for the rest of my life. It's a good thing the zillions of blood tests I had to take when I was pregnant have gotten rid of my fear of needles.

Instead of being scared of the frequent shots, my first reaction was to wonder about the logistics of it all. The easiest thing to do would be for me to go Monday or Tuesday morning before work, since Steve takes Jack to my mom's house those days. But no luck - that doesn't work for the doctor's office. No problem, I reasoned - I'll just get their first morning appointment, bring Jack with me, and take him to school afterwards.

It's a real sign of how much easier life is at Stately Wasser Manor that I'd even consider taking Jack to a doctor's appointment with me. He is growing up and is a lot easier to corral than he used to be. I also know that he is old enough to understand that Mommy needs to get a shot to stay healthy, just like Elmo did in that book we read. And that it will hurt, but just for a second, and that this time, only Mommy needs to get a shot, not Jack. I don't have to worry that he will freak out, cry, try to escape, or have a tantrum in the middle of the waiting room. Yeah, it might happen, but it's unlikely, and I can probably talk him down from the ledge.

This morning was our first trip to the doctor's office. Jack and I talked all about it, and he seemed awfully proud of his role of helping Mommy be brave. When we arrived, I snuck Linda, the nurse, a Buzz Lightyear sticker to give Jack when it was all over. It was pretty obvious that they don't have any pediatric patients in the practice, since she needed a second to figure out what I was asking.

The whole thing took about two minutes and just could not have gone more smoothly. Jack was not one bit bothered or worried by my getting a shot - and neither was I. He was pleased to see that Linda gave me a Band-Aid, but thrilled with his sticker.

All the way to school, he chattered happily about how the doctor gave him a sticker for being brave. He then immediately showed his bounty to his friend Emma.

My little guy is growing up, and in so many ways, it's a good thing. I can feel confident that taking him with me somewhere unusual is not a total act of bravery, I know just how to take care of him, and I know that he can be brave, too.

Cheer!

Hey, Internet!

On Sunday, give a great big cheeer for Sandy, who will be running her very first half marathon in Virginia Beach.

Sandy is one of my partners in crime at RNO, and a few months ago, one of her friends somehow convinced her to run a half marathon with her. Sandy had never been a runner before, but she decided to give it a shot. She's been working hard, and now her big day is coming.

I think it's incredibly cool that she went from blogging about how she was able to complete most of her run that day with only a few breaks to walk and is now ready to go a 13.1 mile race.

So, good luck, Sandy! I will be cheering for you in spirit!

The Color Game

Jack and I were in the car this morning when this went down...

Jack: I know! Let's play The Color Game!
Me: Okay, sounds good. What color should we do first.
Jack (looking pointedly at Roary): NOT orange.
Me: How about blue?
Jack: No, my want to do yellow.
Me: Okay, what's something that's yellow?
Jack: Shrek candy!
Me: Hey, yeah! There's yellow Shrek candy. Good one, Jack.
Roary: Shrek candy!
Me: Can you think of anything else that's yellow, Jack?
Jack: No, Mommy. I did my job. It not my turn anymore. You do your job.

How *you* doin?

One of the things about Jack that makes me most proud is that he is a very outgoing little guy. Jack pretty much assumes that everyone around him is friendly and approachable. He is not afraid to march his little diapered (or Pull Up'ed, I guess) butt right over to them to say hello.

The challenge is the opening line. Jack's favorite way to kick off a conversation right now is to say, "I have a new house." If that seems to generate some interest, Jack will then tell them that he has a big boy bed and that it has Elmo on it. He might then let them know that, "Him a tiger. Him name Roary."

Sometimes, he begins by seeking common ground. Jack saw a man the other day whose arms were covered by tattoos. Jack excitedly pointed to the Mickey Mouse stamp on his hand (which he got after tumbling class) and said, "My got it stamp, too! You got lots of stamps!" Luckily, the guy seemed to find it funny.

With other kids, Jack often just asks for their name. It is pretty much a given in Jack's mind that they will want to play with him. Last week at the Family Museum, he tried a different tactic. Jack was, at the time, completely obsessed with The Incredibles. He was wearing a vest that he'd decided was a cape, so he was Syndrome for a change instead of his usual pick of Mr. Incredible. Jack kept saying, "My Syndrome! My bad guy! My got cape!" all in his gruff little "bad guy" voice. The girl tried her best to ignore him. I pointed out that maybe she doesn't like to play Incredibles (also, maybe isn't into bad boys yet), and perhaps would prefer a she's Cinderella, you're the mean kitty cat kind of scenario. Finally, he gave up on being Syndrome and just told her his name.

The best, though, was when he was playing with a little girl at the zoo. He went so far as to also chat up her mom. I saw him pointing to Steve and me and saying, "That my mommydaddy. Her name Betsy, Him name Steve."

Running Report

Remember two weeks ago when the half marathon kicked my ass?

Well yesterday, I ran 15 miles, and I rocked it out!

My plan was to run a six mile loop to and from my house, grab some water and pee if necessary, then do another six mile loop, water/pee break again, then three. I felt so strong after loop two that I opted to just keep going and finish out the fifteen. At several points when the Nike+ lady told me how far I'd gone, I just felt giddy. I knew I could keep going, and I knew I'd finish strong.

I then got home, guzzled some Gatorade, and took an ice bath. My friend Cindy says that I must have "brass ovaries" to even consider an ice bath, and I have to say, the first time was quite the leap of faith. But yesterday, I was actually looking forward to it. I even thought it felt good. I didn't even need my post-run nap! Instead, I took Jack to Starbucks and the pet store.

I feel amazing.

In other news, I had a check-up last Thursday. The doctor immediately asked if I feel tired often or if I am having trouble with my endurance levels. No, I told him, and added that I'm running a marathon in a few months.

He was very surprised, because my blood tests indicate that I'm anemic! He told me to take some iron supplements, which I started today. I suspect that once that extra iron is coarsing through my veins, I will be a superhero.



Like maybe Iron Man?

Boogie Nights Situation

This scene from Boogie Nights makes me incredibly tense. The drug deal is going horribly bad, Alfred Molina is batshit crazy, and that kid keeps making firecrackers go off. When I watch it, I want to knaw all of my fingernails off, because you just know that any second, something is going to go wrong, wrong, wrong.

The scene has inspired us to coin the phrase Boogie Nights Situation at Stately Wasser Manor. There are times when Jack is just the wrong combination of tired/overstimulated/hungry/randomly pissy that we just know that we are seconds away from something bad. Any second, Jack is going to rear back with a kickass tantrum, or he's going to hit me, or he's going to break something, or he's simply going to wack the hell out of his head on a sharp corner.

Sometimes, we can prevent disaster, but other times, we're just waiting out the clock, hoping that the scene will not end too badly.

Dios mio!

Can I tell you a secret, Internet?

Dora The Explorer is kind of growing on me.



The pace of the show is still excruciatingly slow. "Who do we ask for help when we don't know which way to go?" For the love of Yoda, Dora, it's the map, just like it is in every single episode. The loooong pauses are undoubtedly great if you're a preschooler, but if you're not, they are painful.

And sure, Boots is cool, but what about her creepy squirrel friend Tico, he of the multicolored vest and flying/floating/rocket ship car?



I'd hate to meet that dude in a jungle.

But Jack loves the show so much that I have to admit, his enthusiasm is contagious. I love hearing him answering Dora, telling her, "Swiper right there, Dora! No more swiping!" He also pays very close attention to the show and can tell you all about it. The stories as told by Jack are always more amusing.

"Mommy, Boots thought he saw bear, but Isa was being bear! That funny! Dora and Boots thought the bear was in the cave, but him no was in the cave. Bear was in the grass!"

At the end of the show, when Dora asks which part of the adventure you liked best, I always want to tell her that my favorite part was watching Jack.

I know that after a painfully long pause, she'd nod sagely and say, "I liked that part, too."

Extreme Cuteness

Steve: Achoo! Oh, excuse me.
Jack: No, Daddy. Excuse me is for burps. I say "bless you" for sneeze. Bless you, Daddy.

Angels

Yesterday was my longest "long run" yet. Granted, I'll be able to repeat this sentence pretty much every Monday until my marathon, but it's still satisfying to say it.

My goal was to run 13 miles, but I figured I might as well make it 13.1 and call it a half-marathon, because that sounds so much more kickass.

Sadly, it ended up kicking my ass.

For starters, I got a lousy night's sleep on Saturday. For whatever reason, I woke up at 4:00 and was wide awake. I didn't get as early of a start as I would have liked because once I finally did fall asleep, I was dead to the world until Jack woke me up. And when Jack woke me up, Steve was then dead to the world for another hour. Once I finally got going, it was 9:00 and blazing ass hot, not to mention swampy humid. I could not catch a breeze to save my life, even though I stayed as close to the river as possible in hopes that it'd be a bit cooler.

The heat made what would have been a challenging run an absolute slog. I had to make all kinds of bargains with myself - if I gutted it out and didn't take another walking/water break for a couple more miles, I could walk up the killer steep hill at mile 10, for example. And if I needed to slow my pace? Hey, no problem.

Even still, by the time I got to the last mile, I was hurting. I have a mantra that I say in my head to encourage me: I am strong. I am tough. I can do this. I am a marathoner. I went from saying it in my head to muttering it out loud. Even that wasn't enough, so I spent much of that final mile saying, "Come on already. It's just one stupid mile, and you'll be done soon. Suck it up and keep going. Don't be such a fucking wimp."

Finally, it was over. Instead of feeling strong and triumphant, I was absolutely exhausted. I decided to cut through the grocery store on my way home to soak up a little air conditioning (which was heaven).

On my way in, a man stopped me. "Hey," he said, "I saw you running all the way in downtown Rock Island. Did you run all that way?" I told him yes, and then some. "Damn, girl! That's some running!"

With that, my mindset completely changed. Yeah, it was tough, and no, there was nothing pretty about that run. It was really hard - and you know what? I did it.

The Non-Runner's Guide to Marathons refers to "running angels." They are people who come along at just the right minute to somehow save you with a gel, a drink of water, or just a few words of encouragement. That man was my very first running angel.

I headed back home to survey the damages. My outfit was completely soaked in sweat. I downed two huge bottles of Gatorade in about 30 seconds. Then I took an ice bath. If you're not crazy enough to run 13.1 miles in ridiculous heat and humidity, then surely you're not crazy enough to be familiar with an ice bath, so here's the deal. You fill your tub with freezing cold water deep enough to cover your legs and stay in it for as long as you can. The cold water causes your blood vessels to tighten and drains the blood out of your legs. The new blood then sends more oxygen to your muscles and aids in your recovery.

It was painful, yet awesome.

I also discovered that I had sunburn on my face and shoulders and some chafing on my chest from my shirt. And that taking a post-run nap is even better if Jack joins me.

What Do I Know?

Sunday night, I was chatting with Steve and said, "You know what? Screw potty training for the time being." After all, we're going to Disney World in a little over a month, and it's not like Jack's going to figure it all out before then. We might as well just forget about the whole thing until after we get back. It was agreed, and it was a sound policy.

Then, I picked Jack up from my mom's house last night. Little man was lounging around in his t-shirt and a pair of underwear. My mom reported that he was interested in using the potty, did a fantastic job, and insisted on wearing his new (and awesome) Spider-Man underwear like a big boy.

So, yeah - what do I know?

On the way home, I told Jack how proud of him I was. I asked him if he wanted to go to Target after dinner to buy more big boy underwear, and he was all over that idea. I told him I'd get him whatever kind he wanted, and I don't think I'd even finished the sentence when he requested Thomas. Upon further thought, he decided he'd also like Elmo. And at the store, he put a pack of Cinderella underwear in the cart, which I removed when he wasn't looking. I'm a liberal mom, but I draw the line at cross dressing.

Is he really interested? Who knows. But in case he is, we are stocked up on Thomas and Elmo underwear - and carpet cleaner.

The Hills Are Alive

Last weekend, Steve, my brother, and I ran the Bix 7. The Bix is a long-standing Quad City tradition: a seven mile road race that attracts elite runners from around the world, as well as apparently everyone who lives anywhere remotely nearby who has the faintest interest in running. This was my third Bix, and now that I live here again, I can't imagine missing one.

The race is, in short, a blast. The course is really difficult. Not only is the distance tough (though decreasingly so for me, as my training miles have gone up), but the course itself is really challenging. The race starts almost immediately with a run up a very steep hill that goes on for about half a mile. And there are yet more hills, some rolling, and others that aren't very steep, but are long - the kind that kind of sneaks up on you.

It turns out that running hills is a really good idea for me. At the pre-race expo, I picked up some information about the marathon in Des Moines that I'm training for. There are hills at miles 3 and 7, and the literature advises, "If you haven't already incorporated hills into your training program, please do so now."

Message received!

Luckily, I live in a really hilly area. If I'm running more than three miles, it actually takes some doing to avoid hills completely. So hey, why not be prepared? I have a three-mile course that includes a really steep hill at around the midpoint, so that will be the run that I begin my week with every week from now on. And I'll definitely make sure my long runs are not flat and easy.

Thanks to four years of high school cross country, I am no stranger to running hills. They're definitely challenging, but the key to tackling them successfully is the mental game. The book The Non-Marathoner's Guide to Running suggests that you embrace the hills. The book advises that you say, "Hello, hill. Come run with me."

I take a slightly different tactic. When I hit a hill, I'm more likely to say, "Hill? I'm not scared of you, bitch. You're not that tough. I'm much stronger than you are, and I am almost done. You are a tiny part of this workout for me." And before you know it, I'm at the top, feeling triumphant.


Oh, and by the way, it wasn't just us grown-ups who ran the Bix. Jack was able to compete in the Junior Bix, a grueling 70 yard dash. Once he convinced me that he would literally die if he had to wear his race number, he was all smiles, running down the street, holding my hand, and taunting his fellow two-year olds with a "Neener, neener, neener!"

Get The Lead Out

Fisher Price announced yesterday that they are recalling more than one million toys because they may contain lead-based paint. The toys in question are all Sesame Street, Diego, and Dora toys - pretty much Jack's favorite stuff. I just reviewed the LONG list of stuff, and it's like looking into Jack's toy box, he has so much of it. Luckily for me, the recall only affects toys sold after May 1, 2007, and all of Jack's are older than that. But that's honestly just luck.

This story has me in fits of Protective Mama Bear Rage. Lead paint? Are you fucking kidding me? A few months ago, there was a safety recall on a toy chair that Jack had. That was a case that I'm not upset about. They tested the toy, but some kid got creative and found a way to hurt himself with it. Grownups can test things like crazy and still not have the ingenuity of a toddler bent on destruction. That's understandable. But lead paint is pretty damned easy to avoid- and to test for. Things like this are completely avoidable and simply should not happen.