Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Eye of the Tiger
Behold, the training montage from my very favorite Rocky movie of all, the delightfully cheesy Rocky IV. Rocky boxes against Russian Ivan Drago, to avenge his friend Apollo Creed and, of course, for America. The training montage - a staple of all Rocky films - contrasts the high-tech experience of Ivan Drago with the honest hard work of Rocky.
I have to admit, I often pretend that I am in this training montage myself. Usually, I am Rocky. I'm the honest, hard working athlete. No need for fancy technology for me - I'm out there running in the snow, chopping blocks of wood, dragging Pauly on a sled behind me.
But when I'm forced to exercise indoors on the hated treadmill, it makes the time go a little more pleasantly if I pretend that I am the Russian. Scientists from across the country have banded together to create the optimal training experience for me. Computers measure the length of my stride, my footfalls, my speed, all to make me the ultimate athlete. I am practically a machine, I am so strong. She is not a woman, she is like a piece of iron! I must break you.