Fake Swearing

Okay, Internet. Several of you have now asked about some of my more colorful phrases, such as "catlicking" and "Laws!" Why in the name of Yoda (there's another one) would I say such things?

Here's your answer:

Captain Crazy Cubbypants here has not only developed the ability to understand people when they speak, but also to repeat them. Often, the results are amusing, like last night when he said, "I'm not a monster, you know," and "Sorry I freaked out back there, Daddy." What would not be so cute would be if he learned some of the choice four letter words that used to be such an important part of my vocabulary.

Okay, it would be kind of cute. But it would not be, so much, socially acceptable. Steve even calls me out for using the word crap. I was like, "Are you fucking kidding me? I can't say crap?" And then he pointed out that if Jack started saying crap, it would not sound too good to, say, his teachers or people at churches we are auditioning.

So, what's a mom to do? If you smack your funny bone, saying, "GOLLY, THAT SMARTS!" is not at all satisfying. So, I make up my own swear words. And if this means that one day Jack will get caught saying, "For the love of Yoda, Catlicker, if you don't give me back my catlicking Roary, I don't know what I'm going to do," I think I can live with that.

Ask Betsy

Did you know that people who comment on my blog are among the most superawesomesexy people on the entire internet?

Well, you totally are.

In the past few months, I've gotten comments that included questions. Since I don't feel like doing any work right now, it's time for a round of Ask Betsy.

My friend Courtney (who I went to college with and is pondering running a trisko and who totally should and also is awesome)asked about my weight training program - do I do major muscle groups, or what?

I try to keep things simple. I do lat pull-downs, biceps, triceps, hip flexes, leg curls, leg extensions, and inner and outer thighs. I keep the weights fairly light and do 2-3 sets of 12 reps. When I start marathon training in a couple of months, I am going to meet with a personal trainer to get some recommendations.

Database Diva wondered how I managed to make it from high school to 2007 without any major injuries. Ah, that's easy. In those 10 years, I didn't run that much. A couple times a week, I'd go out and run maybe 3 miles. I'd knock out a 5K if it was somewhere cool and I wanted a t-shirt. I quit running completely when I was pregnant. My doctor's advice on exercising was to listen to my body. My body said, "Eat a ham sandwich the size of your thigh along with a chocolate milkshake and a bag of gummy bears, then what say you and I take a nap?" And I listened. I also hardly ran at all when Jack was a baby because I was just too worn out. I was a serious runner in high school, then had a fallow period, then came back to it again. How I came back to it and got serious again is, of course, a longer post.

My last post created several questions about my beloved coffee. TriGirl Thea asked if Folger's has a bad name in the US. I can't speak for my entire country, but I find it watered down and bland. Shelah asked if drinking coffee makes me hot. I am probably not the right person to ask, because nothing would stop me from drinking it and because I have been known to walk through a snowstorm for ice cream. It doesn't bother me, I'll say that much! Nibbles asked me what my favorite kind of coffee is. I tend to like Latin American coffees, like Guatemalan, but I also like Kona, Jamaican Blue Ridge, and Sumatra. The house coffee at Stately Wasser Manor is Verona from 'bucks.

Nibbles had more questions - if I get bored running in loops and how the trisko training is going. I don't get bored with the loops because they're long and varied - it's not like running laps around the block. Sunday, for example, I am going to run three miles down a big-ass hill, to the path by the Mississippi River, and back, get some water, then do a flat 1.5 miles out and back through some neighborhoods. And the trisko training is going really well. It's so much fun to be doing speedwork again. This week I did 8x400, and I rocked those bitches out! My pace averaged 1:47, which is really fast for me.

The Bets was psyched to find another woman named Betsy who is a runner and a coffee lover. Well guess what - there are three of us. Check out another Betsy at Eat, Drink, Run, Woman. EDRW Betsy is training her butt off in hopes of qualifying for Boston, and since she lives in Seattle, I think it's safe to say that the girl knows her way around a cup of coffee.

And finally, for those of you who have astutely noted that Jack is the cutest thing ever, all I can say is that this is empircally true.