Garmin's Many Uses

Devoted followers of the Church of Garmin (praise be thy name) know that it is an invaluable tool for runners. Garmin can track your time, pace, distance, and elevation. It can record splits of any length or beep at you if you're going too fast or too slow. It can pit you against a virtual opponent in a race, graph your running history over time, and help you find your way home if you're lost.

I have also heard that it can tell time, but that feature's a little harder to find than the rest.

Recently, I uncovered another of Garmin's many widgets, one I was not aware of before. Garmin is also an effective babysitter.

I came home from a run, and Jack's desire to be entertained didn't mesh well with my desire to sit on a chair and drink Gatorade. Then, I had a holy Garmin vision (praise be thy name), divine inspiration if you will.

I put Paula Garmin on Jack's wrist and told him to run around the backyard so I could see how fast he was going. Jack thought this was the coolest idea ever. I gave him my iPod (tuned to the Captain Cubtastic mix) and added a headband to hold in the earphones. The result looked like this:


Garmin then proceeded to entertain Jack until dinner time. He raced around the back yard, creating obstacles for himself, and singing along to his music (particular favorite: "We Will Rock You"). My job was to occasionally throw out some encouragement: "You're doing great!" or "Don't stop running" bought me plenty more valuable chair sitting time.



His average pace was 15:something, probably slowed by the zillions of times he fell, the one time his shorts fell down, and the times he spent hiding behind a tree.

Now we just need Garmin to come out with My First Forerunner, because as this picture of Jack after the Bix illustrates, my boy loves to run.

Say My Name

In the book Me Talk Pretty One Day, David Sedaris was disappointed to learn that his IQ was too low to qualify for Mensa.

Hugh consoled me by saying, "Don't let it get to you. There are plenty of things you're good at."

When asked for some examples, he listed vacuuming and naming stuffed animals. He says he can probably come up with a few more, but he'll need some time to think.

This passage has always amused me, because I do believe that one of my great talents has always been naming stuffed animals. Never have I had a teddy bear named Teddy or some such foolishness. Under my watch, stuffed animals get names that truly suit them, Roary being a prime example.

Clearly, some of my BRF's, with sadly unnamed Garmins, need my help.

Nancy, your Garmin is now named Ayla, after Daryl Hannah's cavegirl character in Clan of the Cave Bear. Club in hand, Ayla will spur you on throughout your workouts.

Kent, I have decided to name your Garmin Bob, after Dr. Robert Atkins, the man who helped transform you into the man you are today.

Nitmos? Bad news, buddy: your Garmin is now named Vanilla, after your nemesis. Think of it this way: when it beeps at you, you can say, "Shut up, Vanilla. I know what I'm doing."

Jen calls herself The 311 Boys' Mom because her two sons were both born on March 11 - more than a decade apart. Jen's Garmin will be known as June, since I have a feeling June is a lucky month for her.

(List to be updated as more BRF's are in need of my skills. Other skills, by the way, include drawing Star Wars characters in a manner realistic enough to suit a three-year-old and finding my way in malls.)

Name It

Okay, fellow runner nerds, I've got to know:

What did you name your Garmin and why?

When I got my Forerunner 205, it was pretty much love at first step. All of a sudden, I had no idea how I could live without the ability to know my exact pace, time, and mileage with impressive accuracy at every given second. I couldn't possibly think of this new coach as just "the Garmin."

Clearly, it needed a name. Especially if it was going to keep beeping at me every mile or so. And I wanted it to be a woman's name... and what better choice than to name her after kick-ass awesome marathon mama Paula Radcliffe?

So, I've got Paula. Topher runs with Duncan. What did you name your Garmin?