Sucker

Setting: The grocery store. Jack spots a rack of stuffed animals.

Jack (gasping): Mommy! Yookit!
(He holds up an orange striped animal.)

Me: Yes. That's Garfield.

Jack: Mommy! He is the daddy of Roary and Nicey!

Jack (as Nicey): Daddy!

Jack (as Garfield): Nicey!

Me: Oh, boy.

Jack: Mommy, I think that Garfield needs to come and live with us and be part of our family.

(I quickly scan Garfield's price tag and discover that he costs six dollars.)

Me (sighing): Okay.

Jack (to random passer-by): Hey, yookit this tiger! He is the daddy of this tiger named Nicey and my other tiger Roary who is in the car. He is married to my tiger Emmy and my mommy said that we can get him!

Random Passer-By: That's nice.

Jack: Garfield is going to be part of our family and when we get to the car, he is going to see Roary and Emmy and they are going to be so surprised.

So, yes: I am a huge sucker. But did you really want to see poor Roary and Nicey grow up without their dad if I could get him for less than ten dollars? And to see Emmy struggling as a single mom?

Three

Oh, sweet Yoda in the swamps of Dagobah.

Jack now has THREE tigers.

There's Roary, who has been Jack's faithful companion for a little over two years. Then there is newcomer Emmy, Roary's Mommy. Emmy, you may recall, used to be named Susie, but Jack changed it to Emmy for no apparent reason. Roary threatened to change his name to Johnny, but Jack just laughed at him.

Then, Steve and Jack went to the mall last night, where they visited a third tiger. Jack quickly decided that she was Roary's little sister, Nicey. That's Nice with a Y at the end, which is so steadfastly Jack's favorite name in the entire world that I am resigned to the fact that I will have at least one grandchild named Nicey some day.

Nicey joined Roary and Emmy to read books, and when it was time to say goodbye to her, Jack dragged his feet and Nicey started to cry.

Jack explained to Steve that he, Roary, Emmy, and Nicey would all be sad if Nicey couldn't come home with them. That she would be all alone in the store with no other tigers. That she should be part of our family, and that it would be wrong for her to go home with some other family.

Steve is not made of stone. He bought Jack the tiger.

The question now is one of logistics. Jack can carry all three tigers around with him, but that would be a vastly increased level of Crazy, even for Jack. Steve is trying to reach a compromise in which only two tigers at a time go out with Jack, while the third, assigned on a rotating basis, stays home to hold down the fort.

We'll see.